EARLIER THIS month, when Yun Chichi posted on Xiaohongshu, a social-media app, about an eligible bachelor looking to marry, she listed his many good qualities. The man had a car and a steady job in a hospital. His parents were taken care of with good retirement funds. He didn’t smoke or drink, could cook and was mild-mannered. He was a total catch. Theoretically, if she wanted this man to marry into her family (an unusual arrangement), how much should she pay for him on the marriage market in China, she asked?
The real catch was that she was actually describing herself. But before she revealed as much, responses to the viral post flooded in. They said the suitor would be worth many millions of yuan or suitable for a hospital director’s daughter. Once the truth came out her post was quickly deleted. It laid bare an uncomfortable reality: the qualities that made the mystery man a marvel are expected of women.
Throughout Chinese history love has been transactional. Traditionally, matchmakers would consider family status, wealth and mores. In some rural areas “bride prices” are still paid to this day. But after Mao Zedong died in 1976, Chinese people became increasingly free to choose the person they wanted to spend their life with. By 2001 less than 12% of people were willing to marry someone they didn’t love, according to local research by Liu Wenrong of the Shanghai Academy of Social Sciences. But romance is increasingly forgotten in the face of more practical considerations. Today, 25% of men and 23.6% of women in Shanghai say they are happy to marry someone they don’t love.
China’s economic slowdown may explain some of the shift. Having a degree no longer guarantees a good job, and as of November the youth unemployment rate was 16.9%. Many families expect a groom to own a home, so economic woes hurt the marriage prospects of many. In such an environment nervous youngsters tread carefully. In Shanghai about half of young unmarried women say they wouldn’t tie the knot with someone unless their parents approved of their choice.
Many avoid the social and financial pressures of the marriage market altogether. In the first quarter of 2025 only 1.8m couples registered to get married, a year-on-year decrease of approximately 8.1%. Among those aged 25-29, the unmarried rate is over 50%.
This worries the government as almost all children in China are born in wedlock. On January 19th it said that the birth rate was at levels not seen since 1949: 5.63 per 1,000 people (the death rate is 8.04 per 1,000 people). Officials want celebration, not lamentation. ■
Subscribers can sign up to Drum Tower, our new weekly newsletter, to understand what the world makes of China—and what China makes of the world.